30 September 2009

Don't know when I'll be back again.

We just barely started getting to know each other, and she's leaving. I hardly know details because I figured that everyone would be asking with such short notice, so I'll get them from Laura later.

I can't wait to be jealous of all the awesomeness that she encounters in Dallas.

PS, I love that I didn't think that there were any pictures of us, but Facebook now has a thing that if you look at someone's pictures, there's a link to pictures with both of you in them, and there was one courtesy of Jared!

Also, I love that my drink is the super watery/empty one in front of me. I'm drinking Laura's so we can move onto the Shady Lady sooner.

28 September 2009


A friend of mine lost his mother early yesterday morning. I never got to meet her, but I love seeing his words about her.

He's definitely one of the coolest people anyone could ever meet, and before I knew too much about her, I thought it was an "in spite of" situation rather than a because of. I was wrong.

Reading his words since her passing, I keep finding myself crying. I feel a little foolish for doing so, since I never did get to meet her, but the tears are not tears of loss or sorrow. They are happy tears to know that such a person could ever exist. I cannot thank this friend enough for sharing with the rest of the world these small fragments of the woman who shaped one of my favorite people in the world.

On an entirely different note, I saw Fame tonight, and will from now on be dancing pretty much every moment that I can. The latest addition to my dance line up will start next Monday, the beginning Hip Hop Aerobics course at Sac State. It will also get me on campus later, which means more study time. (That last period started off as an exclamation point, but needed to be changed.)

Feeling the smile on my face while watching the big number at the end was a bit awesome. I remember seeing Save The Last Dance in theaters when it came out and I was crying through most of it because I missed dancing and I was pretty mad at myself for letting me quit when we moved to Sacramento. This time though, I've got the motivation to dance again, and I'm going to just that. When I'm not in some sort of class or at a venue doing swing, you can expect me to be leaving happy hour and Saturday nights with the Xoso crew for places like Press Club.

I can't wait!

Also, after having a total crush through the movie, I'm wondering if I have a new type, or this is just a fluke.

27 September 2009

Will you remember my name?

Fame came out this weekend!!!!

I haven't gotten a chance to see it yet, but I was very stoked about it at work last night. That excitement definitely led to the moment that made my night.

When a customer did not buy a copy of the original Fame (ridiculous, I know) but left it at the counter for us to put back, I half jumped and said to Justin, "That came out today!" Which was technically wrong, it had come out the day before, but that's not really the point. Justing looked quite confused for a moment, until I was still stoked and kept talking about it. Then he seemed a little awkward and said, "Oh, the movie came out, that's not what I heard."

He refused to say what he did hear because it was, "inappropriate" which only made me push harder to know what it was.

Finally he admitted to hearing me say (with the enthusiasm of talking about Fame, remember), "I came out today!"

This then amused us both, as my attitude really didn't fit with that statement, and the environment in which I was telling Justin would have been even more inappropriate. I think he was really glad that I wasn't in any way offended though. It's not like I haven't been assumed to be gay before, and his confusion was partially in knowing that I'm not.

In other work news, there's a guy there I really don't like. I can't really do anything about it because in my history, sharing that kind of information with other people at work only makes it worse as I turn to them an roll my eyes whenever the offending party does something ridiculous. So, instead of being a gossip like I would have done in the past, I'm making myself more busy. I think I'm going to super annoy my manager by emailing her the random ideas that I have for the store every now and then. I'll make it clear that I don't expect to hear her opinion on each of them, more that I'm just voicing the things I'm thinking. Maybe then I'll have more projects to do and I can ignore that Unibrow doesn't seem to do anything.

24 September 2009

I can't believe I haven't shared this yet. It happened like 36 hours ago!

I never really believed that guys carried condoms in their wallet, I mean, there would be no, "Do you have something?" moments if they all did, right?

I was ringing up a not-unattractive guy at work on Tuesday, only to have not only a condom fall out as he pulled out his credit card, but a Trojan Magnum. If his friends hadn't been there, I probably would have made some sort of comment about it, but we both just sort of laughed it off, and I immediately thought of sharing it.

In retrospect, it's not really something worth sharing without having made that comment. Live and learn I guess.

Also, does it remind anyone else of the first episode of Sex and the City?

Maybe I'm that guy's Big.

I don't really think so though.

P.S. Turns out I'm not so great at not liking a boy unless he likes a band that I despise. Even then, not so fab.

22 September 2009

If I was a Sculptor, but then again no.

I love it when I make a decision, and even though my subconscious tells me that I'm an idiot, other things in life seem to support my choice.

More specifically, the dream I had last night definitely suggests that forgetting about Dodgeball is not going to be as easy as I hoped it would be, but when I got some promo CDs today at work the new release by Harry Connick Jr was in there and the songs are rather encouraging for the He's Just Not That Into You perspective, which is what I'm trying to work with. The first track is actually the exact message I was hoping to get from that book, in the tone that it should have been told in.

So now, not only do I get the music that I wanted, but its timing is pretty awesome and will hopefully help in this whole moving on thing.

Ugh, sometimes things get posted that are really tempting and so not what I need while writing this, but it's a way to prove to myself that I can handle it!

I can, I swear.

21 September 2009

Working working working day and night!

It's all about the career now.

Well, not really, but since I'm not focusing on a certain boy right now I need something else to distract me until either another boy comes along to do the distracting, or I really don't care about the afore mentioned boy anymore.

So the career it is! Which right now means school!

I'm at school right now and need to get into class, but if I'm not updating here, please read my posts for my Writing and the Young Writer course. I should be updating there at a minimum of twice a week through December.

Oh! and I need some recommendations for classical pieces to buy. I want to get some things to listen to while studying, and I reorganized that section at work this weekend, which means I'm on total over load. Anyone have any favorite symphonies or anything to suggest?

19 September 2009

Isn't faith believing all power can't be seen?

After a very long night last night, and a word being used that I don't really want associated with me, I've decided to turn my affections from Dodgeball to someone else.


While this is really easy to say at 10:30 on a Saturday morning after hanging out with cool people the previous night, I'm going to do my best to keep to it...

Forget boys. From now on I have eyes for one man. I first fell for him during my senior year of high school when I saw things like this...

Lots of stuff has happened since then, including my 21st birthday at his show in Vegas.
And then last year he did this at the Grammy's (yes I have already shared this).

With moments like the next one, how can I not be in love with him?

Who knows him? Let's make this happen!

16 September 2009

Happiness is a warm gun

My routine for school is slowly coming along. I still haven't found a good groove in which I get everything done that I need to, but I'm getting enough done. Most of my blogging will be found on the journal assignment for my Writing and the Young Writer course, as that will earn me a grade and as such should be prioritized before entertainment. The good news though is that I should have some decent things to say over there, so feel free to follow it and make comments!

Onto something that's easier to feign interest in!

I was talking to a new friend on Facebook chat last week, and found out that before they knew my name, a few of the dodgeball guys (not to be confused with Dodgeball himself) would refer to me as the librarian. I totally understand. I like to wear cardigans, and when going out in the evening they are quite useful for warding off the chills while also being totally adorable. Now that I'm back in school I like to wear something that makes me feel like I could possibly look like the million years older than all the other students here, so cardigans are a much better choice than hoodies. I've also realized something with all this new focus on those awesome little sweaters.

I need new cardigans!!!

It's getting a little colder, and soon enough I'm going to need an actual jacket, but even then some of my classrooms are rather cold but wearing jacket to take notes is entirely unappealing. I am constantly wanting cardigans in colors that i don't actually have them in, especially when watching super awesome new TV shows in which a main character has some awesome ones.

So now I think I'm going to casually be looking for them in pretty much every color of the rainbow, I mean, why not? If you notice anything awesome please let me know where I can find them!

Oh, and the title means nothing, I just can't get that lyric out of my head.

14 September 2009

Crap, it's the time I said I would go to bed tonight and I haven't written anything about the awesome that was this weekend. Yes, awesome is a noun.

This weekend brought me from two crushes to barely a half crush.

I spent two fun nights out with friends, the first of which was rather informative, the second was more fun than I could possibly describe and will have to be planned again.

I'm super behind on homework already though, and any chance of me getting up early enough to work on any tomorrow requires me going to bed now.

Starting tomorrow I'm going to be productive!

11 September 2009

Inside You'll Hear A Sigh

Blue came over last night. We'd been talking about him coming over the night before, and we texted a bit just to confirm details throughout the day, but I wasn't really that into him coming over. I knew exactly what it would really be about, and considering that I can't seem to get my mind off of Dodgeball when talking to Blue, I don't know that it's fair to either Blue or I for me to act like I'm not thinking about someone else. (It doesn't impact Dodgeball in any way because he doesn't like me.)

There is a reason though that Blue and I are not technically allowed to date, and while I hadn't been hiding it from him that this reason exists again, I hadn't made it known to him either. Tonight it came up though. Within about 2 minutes of him being here. Which made things really uncomfortable for him and ultimately led him to leave with only a hug goodbye. (Well, that and the fact that before my hair dries, my Tresume shampoo and conditioner make my hair smell like crap. Haha, no hair smelling for Blue this time!)

Part of me wanted to be hurt because obviously he doesn't like me enough to say, "Screw the rules, I'm already downtown tonight, we might as well hang out for a while!" But it kind of makes it easier if I don't have to let him down while I'm still hung up on someone else.

Blue is going to look into the issue with us dating and see if it can be resolved. I'm not sure whether or not I really want it to be. Wednesday night he asked me when he's taking me out as a belated birthday dinner, so it seems that he does actually want to date, and I wouldn't be opposed to trying that, but I don't want to force the Dodgeball crush to go away. I think I'll just take it slow. I get a lot of messages from Blue that tell me he's not as into me as I really want someone to be, but him actually figuring out if we can date might be a way of showing me that he is, in fact, that into me. (I know it sounds cliche, but he doesn't really fit with the He's Just Not That Into You logic, and I know from talking with him, not because I just don't want to believe it. After all, I'm believing it with Dodgeball right?)

It's starting to feel like I have some sort of actual life, to which I don't know the proper reaction. I guess it's sharing my experiences with a relatively anonymous audience! Yay blogging!

I wanna wanna wanna wanna be KATE!

I bought a few CDs last week when my discount kicked in, and I'm super happy that I did. I also got some promo CDs at the time, which has allowed me to become totally infatuated with Pitbull's newest release, no matter how much of a sheltered white girl I am who has never really had to deal with anything truly difficult. (Though this CD isn't about that at all, so I can identify with some of the ideas in it, the idea of someone like me connecting with typical rap still totally baffles me.)

Today I made myself turn off Calle Ocho and popped in another CD I had no doubt I would love as well. I mean how could I not love some more Ben Folds? Especially when it's all A Cappella from many different University groups from around the country!

I was listening to it on my way to class, and I was already totally in love and decided that I need to get as much of the Ben Folds library as I can get my hands on ASAP. Then, on the way home from class I was singing along to Brick and I fell way more in love with the man.

Do you ever have an idea of something that you know is a real thing, but people make fun of you for it?

Like when I worked at Jamba Juice and I said I didn't like to go into the walk-in freezer because I don't like the smell of the cold. Well, no one I worked with then understood what I meant by that. They all just didn't like the cold, never mind the smell, because it doesn't exist.

Now go back and watch the video paying attention at 35 seconds in.

Totally vindicated. (Watch the following video to prevent getting Dashboard Confessional stuck in your head now.)

Note, both videos are the groups who perform on the album, though I believe they are their auditions to be part of the album, yay for them!

And now, another joyous moment from this album...

As I was falling in love with the a cappella aspect and wondering whether Sac State (the hell hole masquerading as a school I go to) had a group I could see some time, I looked through the track listings.

The Sac State Jazz Singers are on the album!!!!!

It's not my favorite of the songs, but that's more about the songs than the performance. Anyone remember Butterscotch from America's Got Talent? She's in there. I wish I actually knew one of these people so I could tell them good job. Especially if the lucky bastards got to meet Ben Folds.

10 September 2009


So, you're watching right?

I introduced my roommate to it tonight, and we were cracking up the entire time.

We are now living for next Wednesday.

08 September 2009

I really can't say enough how much I don't like crushes.

Tonight was painful. And it's all my doing.

07 September 2009

Girl Just Wanna Have Fun.

Being a girl can seriously suck. In the last 48 hours I have been through a roller coaster of emotions that really don't even make sense. Yes, it is that time of the month, and I definitely hope that's why I'm like this, but knowing that I can expect this according to the lunar cycle does not really help in dealing with it.

I totally broke down before work on Sunday, and luckily my guardian angel Blythe was online to calm me down. Though, I didn't actually calm down. Since she wasn't in front of me to see, I was actually getting much worse.

I've got issues with the fact that I can't find a boy worth a damn who is interested in an actual relationship. As Blythe so wonderfully pointed out, I've recently made some really great friends, so it is obvious that I've got a personality that can attract people. And then I have a boys like... well we'll call him Dodgeball... who make it almost painfully obvious that it's not any issue with my body that's keeping the boys away. I even have boys like Dodgeball who end up being really good friends in moments that I need them, and probably see a little more than they should.

For whatever reason though, those things don't all come together as I would like them to, and it frustrates me to no end. I've got some plans to focus myself on other things for the time being. Among them, getting into a consistent size 6 through more creative eating and getting back to dancing more.

There is a part of me that refuses to give up on Dodgeball, even though Blue (who I know I didn't update about, but I totally gave up on two weeks ago) messaged me last night for no real reason. I new that Blue would eventually get back in touch with me, and I knew that it would be mostly they type of conversation that we had last night, and I'm glad to report that my emotional response was pretty much as I wanted it.

I didn't care! The whole time that we were talking, I was thinking about how sure, it would be nice to date him if he wanted to take me out, but I'm really more interested in someone else, even if I don't actually have a shot with him.

Considering how desperate I was for some decent male attention only 14 or so hours before, I was really glad to see that it's not just male attention that I want, it's male attention from someone I like, that's not just about sex. It's a bittersweet relief though, since getting more than that from someone whom I actually like is much more difficult to find.

Oh well, should give me more to blog about, right?

04 September 2009

Congratulations! It's a Blog!

I now have a super awesome new blog to which I will be posting all of my journal entries like the previous entry for my Writing and the Young Writer course.

I will be posting links here to when I update, or at least mentioning it unless I really impress myself with an entry and feel a need to cross post. My teacher is totally down for public comment, so please comment away. Those comments will probably spawn new topics for me to write about, which will be much appreciated.

I'm very excited to be writing more this semester, and I can't wait to tell you all tomorrow about my attempted murder by a silent asian woman at Wal-mart earlier tonight.

02 September 2009

Motivation Such and Aggravation

This will be my first post in that blog for my class as soon as I can come up with a name for it I like.

You know that technology is having a huge impact on school when one can turn a simple journal assignment into a blog only to motivate themselves to complete it more thoroughly and in a timely fashion.

Such is this blog. For what looks to be quite an exciting course, I must keep a journal of thoughts related to writing and the teaching of writing. With the help of Google Analytics, I will be able to motivate myself to keep writing so as to keep some sort of audience interested. On that note, I have my first self-created prompt for this journal…

How on earth am I actually going to ever get a student motivated to write before the eve of the assigned due date?

Having been one of those students, I know exactly the thought process of the ones who are more than capable of doing any mundane task assigned, but not coming anywhere near caring enough to do them. In the first meeting of my American Gothic course today I was reminded of Professor Sweet’s practice of short quizzes on the assigned reading material and it got me thinking about applying something like this to writing.

Because I had her for American Lit a year ago, I know that Prof. Sweet’s quizzes are very simple ones, only really intended to motivate and reward keeping up with the reading assignments. As much as I hated them at the beginning of the last course, I came to love the easy credit for just doing what I should have found my own motivation to do.

I’d already attended Writing and the Young Writer when thinking about these American Gothic quizzes, and thought that if there was a way to modify this practice for writing, one might just be able to show high school and middle school students the benefit of staying ahead of their writing from the beginning. But just how would I ever be able to do that? I guess I have a few years until I’m in a classroom, and I have lots of teachers to learn from until then, so maybe I shouldn’t worry about it for the moment. If I can figure out a reasonable way though, I can’t wait to try and actually get students motivated.

I love how much better my writing is now that I start my writing earlier and have a chance to edit it. I wasn’t ready to admit that I needed that in high school though, and I’m sure I’ll run into plenty of students who feel the same way. I also feel as though I was able to scrape by and get B’s on papers that I pulled out of my ass the night before, so what real incentive did I have to start earlier?

Thinking about it in those terms has me remembering just last spring and my Advanced Composition course with Professor Dunstan. That’s actually where I finally found the drive to truly edit and give myself time to write. Dunstan was able to get me to see the light by having us turn in papers that were due at the end of the class around mid-terms, and giving us what our grades would be if we turned in that paper. Even the one that I had a solid B in then wasn’t enough for me when I still had the time to improve it. The notes that he’d made, made it very easy for me to spot what I didn’t like in my own writing and edit it to be more clear and definite.

I think before I write again I’ll pull out my old syllabus from that course and see if I can’t draw more inspiration from that, or in my current course with Dunstan!