Let's Do The Time Warp Again!

I guess here's a week and a half in one entry before passing out for 5 1/2 hours!

Last Friday the typical happy-hour-that-lasts-all-night crowd was out at our normal 10-11 two-for-ones bar, and one of the guys who was out with us said that he could get us into a club around the corner that none of us would typically go to because it's 18+ and has a high cover, but for free I'll totally dance the night away! Both Shadow Boy and Dodgeball were there.

Even after the weekend before and the disappointment of seriously unmet expectations, I spent the whole night dancing with Dodgeball. Sure I was a little drunk, but it was also rather exhilarating to flirt and dance knowing that I no longer wanted anything to come from it!

I was also able to determine that since I could have been flirting and dancing with a boy who was interested, I should probably not lead that boy on by accepting a date with him.

As of last night, I heard that Shadow Boy has been flirting it up with someone else who, from the little I know of her, he would be much better suited for. Win, win, win! (Option 5, I believe, for fans of The Office.)

This weekend has been a bit of a blowout to kick of the second half of the semester. It's one of the busiest I've had in a while, and I'm loving it!

Now it's time for bed after a great showing of the Rocky Horror Show, because the lovely Kasey is picking me up in less than 6 hours to get an awesome vanity I found on Craigslist. The addition of this vanity to my room will allow me to finish up the organizing of my room, which will mean a much better rest of the semester!

For those who follow dictionarycom on twitter, I'm tempted to change Dodgeball's alias to Fugacious.

Don't You Know that You're Toxic?

I don't even know what to say right now. I have lots of things I could update with, but I don't really get any of it, so I don't know how to get out of my head.

I guess I'll give it a go though.

I was thinking about the possible date with the about to be named boy, and I realized that I'm not currently terribly into him. I have no zsa-zsa-zsu, as a new blogging friend has recently posted about. I want a boy who will share the spotlight with me. Someone who will get up and make a fool out of himself with me so that when I regret it, he can say he did it too, rather than try to tell me that I looked fine. I don't really want someone who will be standing back in the shadows. Thus Shadow Boy has been named.

(Totally unrelated picture, but can I please have one this adorably afraid of fireworks, but then totally into them when hanging out with me?)

So, I got some advice from a friend this week that I should not in fact take Shadow Boy up on his date offer if I don't think that I like him. The thing is though, I do enjoy talking to him. What if that could lead to some zsa-zsa-zsu? I mean, the first few times that I met Dodgeball there wasn't anything there. And then the idiot had to go and use some big words, and there were those damned butterflies in my stomach. Why do I have to be such an English major?

If I could like Shadow Boy though, why shouldn't I give it a shot. Maybe the butterflies will come later.

Or maybe they'll last for 3 years like they have with someone else...

Blue instant messaged me tonight. Checking to make sure that I still work somewhere that prevents us from dating. He has actually been the topic of discussion lately, and I find it very interesting that he then messages me at 1:15AM. What is it about this boy? I don't understand him!

Put your hands up!

I haven't written for a while. In any of my blogs.

I'm really overwhelmed with school right now and I can't wait to have my hours cut at work now that we have a new part timer. I know that's a little unexpected, but I really want to get back on top of this semester, and the only feasible way for me to do that means less time at work.

In the last few hours I have been semi-challenged to learn the Single Ladies dance, which I've wanted to do anyway, but now will have to because I can't challenge someone to do it and then not do it myself. I may be performing it in a couple weeks, or I may find some way out of us all performing it. If I do learn it and feel comfortable before Halloween, I'm super tempted to dress up as Beyonce for Halloween though. I kind of think it's appropriate for working at a music store, is it not?

I have another idea I really like for Halloween though, and If I can make that happen I'm going to instead.

Beyond the dancing and Halloween motivations, this weekend allowed me to see that I kind of am enjoying being single. As much as I like the idea of relationships and such, sometimes there are disappointments that come with that kind of thing, and I have too much to focus on right now to open myself up to disappointments. Especially the kind of disappointments I had this weekend. At least I won't have to focus on that issue anymore!

That being said, I believe there is kind of an open invitation for a date right now, and I will be taking this boy up on his offer. I can't think of an appropriate nickname for him that won't also reveal his identity to some people who read this, so he is as yet unnamed, but I will do my best to come up with something before writing about him again.

Small request

Would one of the adorable boys in my life just ask me out to one of the great movies out right now already?

Isn't faith believing all power can't be seen?

After a very long night last night, and a word being used that I don't really want associated with me, I've decided to turn my affections from Dodgeball to someone else.

ME!

While this is really easy to say at 10:30 on a Saturday morning after hanging out with cool people the previous night, I'm going to do my best to keep to it...

Forget boys. From now on I have eyes for one man. I first fell for him during my senior year of high school when I saw things like this...



Lots of stuff has happened since then, including my 21st birthday at his show in Vegas.
And then last year he did this at the Grammy's (yes I have already shared this).



With moments like the next one, how can I not be in love with him?



Who knows him? Let's make this happen!

Inside You'll Hear A Sigh

Blue came over last night. We'd been talking about him coming over the night before, and we texted a bit just to confirm details throughout the day, but I wasn't really that into him coming over. I knew exactly what it would really be about, and considering that I can't seem to get my mind off of Dodgeball when talking to Blue, I don't know that it's fair to either Blue or I for me to act like I'm not thinking about someone else. (It doesn't impact Dodgeball in any way because he doesn't like me.)

There is a reason though that Blue and I are not technically allowed to date, and while I hadn't been hiding it from him that this reason exists again, I hadn't made it known to him either. Tonight it came up though. Within about 2 minutes of him being here. Which made things really uncomfortable for him and ultimately led him to leave with only a hug goodbye. (Well, that and the fact that before my hair dries, my Tresume shampoo and conditioner make my hair smell like crap. Haha, no hair smelling for Blue this time!)

Part of me wanted to be hurt because obviously he doesn't like me enough to say, "Screw the rules, I'm already downtown tonight, we might as well hang out for a while!" But it kind of makes it easier if I don't have to let him down while I'm still hung up on someone else.

Blue is going to look into the issue with us dating and see if it can be resolved. I'm not sure whether or not I really want it to be. Wednesday night he asked me when he's taking me out as a belated birthday dinner, so it seems that he does actually want to date, and I wouldn't be opposed to trying that, but I don't want to force the Dodgeball crush to go away. I think I'll just take it slow. I get a lot of messages from Blue that tell me he's not as into me as I really want someone to be, but him actually figuring out if we can date might be a way of showing me that he is, in fact, that into me. (I know it sounds cliche, but he doesn't really fit with the He's Just Not That Into You logic, and I know from talking with him, not because I just don't want to believe it. After all, I'm believing it with Dodgeball right?)

It's starting to feel like I have some sort of actual life, to which I don't know the proper reaction. I guess it's sharing my experiences with a relatively anonymous audience! Yay blogging!

I really can't say enough how much I don't like crushes.

Tonight was painful. And it's all my doing.

Girl Just Wanna Have Fun.

Being a girl can seriously suck. In the last 48 hours I have been through a roller coaster of emotions that really don't even make sense. Yes, it is that time of the month, and I definitely hope that's why I'm like this, but knowing that I can expect this according to the lunar cycle does not really help in dealing with it.

I totally broke down before work on Sunday, and luckily my guardian angel Blythe was online to calm me down. Though, I didn't actually calm down. Since she wasn't in front of me to see, I was actually getting much worse.



I've got issues with the fact that I can't find a boy worth a damn who is interested in an actual relationship. As Blythe so wonderfully pointed out, I've recently made some really great friends, so it is obvious that I've got a personality that can attract people. And then I have a boys like... well we'll call him Dodgeball... who make it almost painfully obvious that it's not any issue with my body that's keeping the boys away. I even have boys like Dodgeball who end up being really good friends in moments that I need them, and probably see a little more than they should.

For whatever reason though, those things don't all come together as I would like them to, and it frustrates me to no end. I've got some plans to focus myself on other things for the time being. Among them, getting into a consistent size 6 through more creative eating and getting back to dancing more.

There is a part of me that refuses to give up on Dodgeball, even though Blue (who I know I didn't update about, but I totally gave up on two weeks ago) messaged me last night for no real reason. I new that Blue would eventually get back in touch with me, and I knew that it would be mostly they type of conversation that we had last night, and I'm glad to report that my emotional response was pretty much as I wanted it.

I didn't care! The whole time that we were talking, I was thinking about how sure, it would be nice to date him if he wanted to take me out, but I'm really more interested in someone else, even if I don't actually have a shot with him.

Considering how desperate I was for some decent male attention only 14 or so hours before, I was really glad to see that it's not just male attention that I want, it's male attention from someone I like, that's not just about sex. It's a bittersweet relief though, since getting more than that from someone whom I actually like is much more difficult to find.

Oh well, should give me more to blog about, right?