Girl Just Wanna Have Fun.

Being a girl can seriously suck. In the last 48 hours I have been through a roller coaster of emotions that really don't even make sense. Yes, it is that time of the month, and I definitely hope that's why I'm like this, but knowing that I can expect this according to the lunar cycle does not really help in dealing with it.

I totally broke down before work on Sunday, and luckily my guardian angel Blythe was online to calm me down. Though, I didn't actually calm down. Since she wasn't in front of me to see, I was actually getting much worse.



I've got issues with the fact that I can't find a boy worth a damn who is interested in an actual relationship. As Blythe so wonderfully pointed out, I've recently made some really great friends, so it is obvious that I've got a personality that can attract people. And then I have a boys like... well we'll call him Dodgeball... who make it almost painfully obvious that it's not any issue with my body that's keeping the boys away. I even have boys like Dodgeball who end up being really good friends in moments that I need them, and probably see a little more than they should.

For whatever reason though, those things don't all come together as I would like them to, and it frustrates me to no end. I've got some plans to focus myself on other things for the time being. Among them, getting into a consistent size 6 through more creative eating and getting back to dancing more.

There is a part of me that refuses to give up on Dodgeball, even though Blue (who I know I didn't update about, but I totally gave up on two weeks ago) messaged me last night for no real reason. I new that Blue would eventually get back in touch with me, and I knew that it would be mostly they type of conversation that we had last night, and I'm glad to report that my emotional response was pretty much as I wanted it.

I didn't care! The whole time that we were talking, I was thinking about how sure, it would be nice to date him if he wanted to take me out, but I'm really more interested in someone else, even if I don't actually have a shot with him.

Considering how desperate I was for some decent male attention only 14 or so hours before, I was really glad to see that it's not just male attention that I want, it's male attention from someone I like, that's not just about sex. It's a bittersweet relief though, since getting more than that from someone whom I actually like is much more difficult to find.

Oh well, should give me more to blog about, right?