07 July 2008

I know that it’s been more than a month, and that’s plenty of time to get over the non-relationship that lasted the 6 months before that, but I’m really not over Jeff. I don’t know if it’s the extra emotion of recent events, or just how it is, but I’m really missing him and hating the way that things ended.

To just stop calling like that shows just how little he respected me in the first place.

I’m not sure where to go with these feelings. I’m kind of afraid to tell the person who I tell most other things to for fear of disappointing her. I need to hear something about it being ok though.

I get that he simply wasn’t into me enough, and it’s over. I’m just still hurting and I don’t know what to do. I actually would really like to make more guy friends and try to stay away from romantic relationships for a bit. I’m not really happy with the male support that I currently have in my life, maybe that would help.

Someone please tell me that you’d have waited 10 more years of being single to find the person that you have now. Tell me that it really is worth the wait and it’s going to happen, because if it’s not I’d rather get over that fact now and get used to this.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i didn't wait for the real love of my life. i thought what you were sposed to do when your heart was crushed was to rush into someone else's arms to forget it. i even married this person. and it was one of the silliest decisions i have ever made. i don't regret any of it necessarily because that isn't my style, and being misrabley married taught me how to be happily married now. but if i had the same situation pop up, i would definately skip it.

turns out, i was running under full control of a broken heart. and broken hearts give really bad directions. so wait. you are truly amazing, and to top off your funny, smart, awesomeness, you are absolutely breath takingly beautiful. you deserve so much more than half attention. you deserve the world on a platter. and someday you are going to meet some one who YOU THINK deserves the world on a platter too. and you guys can share world platters in bed for the rest of your life and it will be amazing.

seriously. :)

mallory said...

I think the problem is that you're constantly on the lookout, thinking whatever next guy you have a connection with might be "the one" and then putting too-big expectations on him. I know it's easier said than done, but you know you can't force it so the best you can do is wait, and maybe do your best not to let opportunities pass you by, but still manage not to put so much pressure on yourself and the guys you meet to make things happen.